First as Farce

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

MARTIN BUFHOLTZ : The Corpse
SIEGFRIED KIRCHEIS
DIETRICH BRONNER : The Masked Man
THE PLAYERS
THE AUDIENCE

INT. A BEDROOM - NIGHT

The scene is lit eerily by a green glow, as if THE AUDIENCE were watching with night vision goggles. MARTIN and SIEGFRIED are in bed. MARTIN is awake, but pretending not to be. He watches the clock on the nightstand. When it turns to 1:00, he gets out of bed. SIEGFRIED rolls over into the space he has left, then comes to.

SIEGFRIED

Morning already?

MARTIN

No. Go back to sleep.

Yesterday’s clothes are discarded on the floor. MARTIN gets dressed, fumbling in the darkness. He can barely see.

SIEGFRIED

Is it trouble?

MARTIN

I’m going to see a play.

SIEGFRIED

A play? What time is it?

MARTIN

Late. It’s Maria’s play, the one I told you about. You can come but—

SIEGFRIED

(Yawning, placated by the offer.)

When will you be back?

MARTIN

A few hours. It’s short, but I said I’d help clean up. We’re not really supposed to have the stage.

SIEGFRIED

Will Fraulein Mariendorf be there?

MARTIN

Probably not.

SIEGFRIED

Too bad.

MARTIN

Why? You want her sneaking around the ONU campus in the middle of the night?

SIEGFRIED

(Reaching out for MARTIN’S arm.)

She’d keep you out of trouble.

MARTIN

All the trouble that was going to happen already has.

SIEGFRIED

Mm. Have fun.

He tucks his face back into the pillow.

INT. A COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The walls are plastered with flyers advertising student events, but the most prominent posters are those advertising the student theater’s plays. Someone has come through and defaced the posters for tonight’s play, though not removed them completely. The title, Frühlings Erwachen, is barely legible.

MARTIN enters. THE PLAYERS and THE AUDIENCE are already there, and MARTIN waves to a few before finding his seat. He sits alone. Most of the seats are empty; this is a small event, invitation only.

The lights dim.

THE PLAYERS

Well, it’s two in the morning, so let’s get started. Some of us have class in about six hours.

THE AUDIENCE

(Laughter.)

THE PLAYERS

The cast and crew do have to thank you all for coming on such short notice and at such an odd hour, and we also have to thank you for your discretion. Obviously, none of us are happy that the police came knocking at our door asking us about our play, but we’re trying to think of it as an opportunity— riding the excitement of life. It would have been a shame to rehearse for months and never put on any performance, so, just for you, our dearest friends, our comrades, and even our lovers—

THE AUDIENCE

(Laughter.)

THE PLAYERS

We, the Odin National University Student Theater (in exile, maybe), are happy— proud!— to present Frank Wedekind’s masterpiece, Frühlings Erwachen!

THE AUDIENCE

(Applause.)

One man rises from THE AUDIENCE to change seats. It is BRONNER. He sits down next to MARTIN as the first of THE PLAYERS enter the stage.

BRONNER holds a battered playbook in his hand, pages bookmarked with post-it notes. As THE PLAYERS begin speaking, he follows along. MARTIN can’t help but notice him doing this, and he sees that BRONNER has photographs of THE PLAYERS, as well as other people he doesn’t recognize, tucked among the pages.

BRONNER

Do you know how this one ends?

MARTIN

No.

BRONNER

How exciting for you.

(Gesturing to THE PLAYERS.)

The key to acting is making THE AUDIENCE think that THE PLAYERS don’t know how it ends, either.

THE PLAYERS perform the opening scene.

BRONNER

(Pulling a photograph from his playbook and showing it to MARTIN.)

They should have made Wendla a redhead. She would have suited.

The photograph is of some woman that MARTIN does not recognize. Although the character Wendla is meant to be fourteen, all of THE PLAYERS are university students. The woman in the photograph is probably seventeen, and she has hair as red as SIEGFRIED’S.

MARTIN

Is she a good actor?

BRONNER

If she is, she’s one of the best.

The play continues. MARTIN is made distinctly uncomfortable by BRONNER’S presence, but BRONNER pretends to be oblivious to his discomfort, watching THE PLAYERS, enraptured. He flips the pages of his playbook.

BRONNER

I love this play. One of Wedekind’s best works.

MARTIN is not only uncomfortable with BRONNER, but also the action on stage. One of THE PLAYERS is being beaten by another. Although it is stage violence, MARTIN flinches at the blows.

MARTIN

I’m afraid I don’t see why. I should have read the script ahead of time.

BRONNER

It’s lifelike, even in its exaggerations. You don’t have to read the script to know how it ends.

He turns another page in his playbook, revealing new photographs.

BRONNER

Almost everything in life seems inevitable when you understand the roles of THE PLAYERS and what information they have, or lack. People act in very predictable ways. The tragedy exists before the first scene opens.

(Stroking the page of his playbook.)

Information is important. I pride myself on understanding THE PLAYERS and the script.

MARTIN

Oh.

(Beat.)

Are you a professor here, sir?

BRONNER

I’m a theater critic.

MARTIN

You can’t write this up in the paper. It’s—

BRONNER

I’m here off the clock, as it were, Herr Bufholtz. But I’ve come to every one of this company’s performances since I’ve lived in the capital. I could hardly miss this one.

MARTIN’S eyes widen at the address. BRONNER just smiles and watches the play. MARTIN pays closer attention to BRONNER’S playbook than he does THE PLAYERS. He recognizes one of the photographs: taped next to Ilse’s lines is a photograph of Baroness Westpfale.

They do not speak again until the final scene of the play. THE PLAYERS stand in a graveyard.

BRONNER

Pay attention.

MARTIN

Why?

BRONNER

See THE MASKED MAN? THE AUTHOR dedicated the play to him, but played him himself during the first run of the show. The lifelikeness of the play is lost in the last scene, because life itself creeps in.

(Beat.)

THE AUTHOR couldn’t let the tragedy play all the way to its conclusion. He rescues Melchior from death himself.

(Beat.)

Life doesn’t work that way.

The play concludes. THE PLAYERS return to the stage for their bows.

THE AUDIENCE

(Applause.)

BRONNER

(Applause.)

And no one returns to the stage after their role is finished in life, either.

THE PLAYERS exit. MARTIN and BRONNER are alone. MARTIN stands to leave, but—

BRONNER

HERR BUFHOLTZ.

He holds up a photograph of MARTIN.

MARTIN

What do you want?

BRONNER stands and climbs onto the stage, standing among the grave-props that were left when THE PLAYERS departed.

BRONNER

Come here.

MARTIN

No.

BRONNER

You don’t want to play the farce before the tragedy, for once?

He flips through his playbook, pulls out a final photograph, this one of SIEGFRIED. He holds it up to the light.

MARTIN

Who the hell are you?

BRONNER

THE MASKED MAN.

MARTIN looks around, then climbs up on stage with BRONNER.

BRONNER

I would ask you what role you’re playing, but there’s no good answer for you to give.

He places the photograph of MARTIN atop one of the styrofoam graves, and holds the photograph of SIEGFRIED out for MARTIN to take. When MARTIN makes no move, he instead folds it and puts it in his breast pocket.

BRONNER

You may hope to be Hänschen or Ernst— no, don’t say anything. I’m afraid you’re more of a Moritz.

(Beat.)

Would you agree?

MARTIN

I’m not fourteen and stupid.

BRONNER

You’re graduating this spring— at the end of this semester.

MARTIN

And?

BRONNER

You applied for an exemption from your compulsory service and were rejected out of hand. So, no doctoral program, and only a trip to the killing fields.

MARTIN

And you expect me to kill myself over it?

BRONNER

It’s always been my duty to be an accurate judge of character. Putting up some foolish token gesture of rebellion is just as much of a suicide as putting a gun in your mouth would be. Your tragedy’s already written.

MARTIN

Then have the police arrest me now.

BRONNER

We have to play it out. For the benefit of THE AUDIENCE.

MARTIN

Oh, fuck you.

BRONNER

Or, at least, for the benefit of HERR KIRCHEIS.

MARTIN

Leave him alone.

BRONNER

No, I won’t. I couldn’t abandon my role in the battle for his soul. There isn’t an understudy to take my place.

MARTIN

You’re the devil, then.

BRONNER

Call me what you like. But if you sway HERR KIRCHEIS to do whatever you ask, he will be dead with you. I, on the other hand—

MARTIN

I thought you were such a great judge of character that you already knew how this was going to end.

BRONNER

It’s my duty as A PLAYER to convince THE AUDIENCE that I don’t.

(Beat.)

And I don’t have all the information.

MARTIN

You don’t know anything. What do you want me to say to you?

BRONNER

I just want you to make the tragedy convincing.

MARTIN turns and jumps off the stage. As he leaves, he rips one of the defaced posters from the wall and shoves it into a garbage can near the exit.

INT. A BEDROOM - NIGHT

The bedroom is still in utter darkness, save for the green surveilance-glow. SIEGFRIED is still in bed. When MARTIN enters, he turns on the light. The green glow subsides; the house lights come on.

SIEGFRIED

Now is it morning?

MARTIN

About four.

SIEGFRIED makes an annoyed groan.

SIEGFRIED

I have to get up in an hour, but you get to sleep in for another three. And here you are turning the lights on.

(Rolling over onto his back.)

How was the play?

MARTIN

Terrible.

SIEGFRIED

(Chuckling.)

If it’s that bad, maybe it’s for the best that they banned it. Don’t tell your friend Maria I said that.

MARTIN

SIEG…

SIEGFRIED

What is it?

MARTIN

Nevermind. Nothing. Go back to sleep.

SIEGFRIED

There wasn’t any trouble, was there?

MARTIN

No. Just a bad play.

SIEGFRIED

Do you want to talk about it?

MARTIN

No.

He undresses, and then turns out the light before getting into bed. Darkness. Slowly, the green light returns as MARTIN and SIEGFRIED embrace under the comforter.